Goodbye

  It was a hot and humid afternoon where her vision was blurred by sweat that dripped and flowed into her large hazel-brown eyes. The pain was intense and humiliating. She should know better. She watched him eye green-jacket-girl with a desire of unknown boundary and the pain numbed her head. She felt like she had been eaten up from the inside and tears started to leak. Her friend next to her eyed her with beady eyes wearily. 'Too hot, too much sweat.' She referred to her tears.

  The green-jacket-girl ignored the guy staring at her and pretended to study history about civilization with a Calculus book underneath. She leaned her head on the table and closed her eyes. Maybe the pain would go away faster this way. It seemed wrong to fall for her buddy. He was her best friend. And she loved him. With all her soul and heart. And her heart was-breaking. Instead of telling him that she needed him, she was helping them get together. She was passing messages for them, she was telling him things about her-green-jacket-girl. He was happy. He had finally found the love of his life. And green-jacket-girl responded equally with a positive attitude, directly proportional. Where does that leave her? Outside the perfect circle only enough places for two people?

  She sucked in deep as her car arrived and dashed across the road to meet him. Standing in front of him, she was speechless. Finally, she spoke. ' Ian, I'm leaving the country tomorrow to further my studies in Chemistry. Goodbye.' With that, she turned and dashed into the car, her body shaking and choking on tears hard.

  This is for Ginny Lim and Hemlatha. It was inspired by a story I read and the recent happenings.

Happiness that hurt

I was in my dad's car in Malacca and we were having a good time after eating Asam Laksa in Jonker Street and buying forbidden food for beauty queens (or anybody who gives a damn about losing weight). I saw this particular shop that brought back memories deep from the past that haunted me. It was a shop that sold mattresses. Yet, it was special. It reminded me of someone that was once so close to me and now so far. No way this is about a guy. Its about a friend. I miss her (even if she really is evil-evil-evil to the max). There are some people in life you can never get over no matter how time flies and that one person stupidly is her. My first glance made me happy to the core and left a devastating pain later in my heart when I realised the person who shared those experiences with me was no longer there for me.

  I wonder why the world is so unfair.

Everything in life isn't right

    I find it so hard to be a part of something. I hate this feeling. Totally hate this feeling of wanting to be accepted. And yes I don't understand why I'm having this feeling. I've been doing reports over reports with Maths and Add Maths as my main subject. I'm starting to hate numbers. Really. I mean that's what I learn about. Non-stop numbers. Sucks. And I feel like there is no one to depend on and it just makes me feel worst.

Hello Me

  I'm right now in Selangor again. Yes, it feels so freaking good to be home. I love home people.
 
  Maybe you should listen to the pain of going home.

  My friends and I waited for the taxi like for an hour. The taxi guy forgot about us and asked his friend to take us. His friend never appeared for your information. I caught another taxi guy who sent us to the Malacca Central for RM25. Then, we missed the bus by just 6 minutes. We almost boarded a car whose driver said will take us to Selangor for just RM 25 one person. I called my mom and she told me to get the hell out of the car-which I did immediately with the others. Then, we took a bus which charged us RM 22.30 per person. It was soon to know that a boy took the same bus for just RM 12. We felt cheated to the extend I was so annoyed with everything. Watched 'Vampires Suck' on the bus. That movie really sucks.

I need somebody now

  It's a wonder how things change in a wink of an eye.

  This week was my best and worst week in University.

  And I thought life was good. You have no idea how much I want to hug somebody and cry now. I feel like a moron. I'm ashamed of myself.

  I broke my phone last night and I'm phoneless now. I forgot to take money from my parents and I'm kind of considered broke as I can't buy any books I want. I have to go to the bank. But most of all, I guess I'm sad that I can't do electric circuit. I totally suck at it. I never loved Physics in high school and now I'm slacking in it. I should have just given the shop to repair my phone instead of trying to be smart and everything.

  I need somebody now. Hello anyone?

  Today is and shall be the most embarrassing day of the week.

  First, I enter Mr. Zamari's(or is it Zamani?) class where he stresses out the facts of Uni life and how to find stuff online. It took a while but I realise he was saying what I had actually told my PA(PA stands for personally assistant-kidding). The culture-shock stuff. After going to so many schools in my life I still get culture shock-is there anything more impossible? Then, I bumped my head on the toilet bowl(the flushing thingy) and then on the wall where I tried to lean my head. In the Instrument Lab, Mr. Zamari clearly stated that collared T-shirts and no track bottoms were allowed. That was exactly what I was wearing. He also said something about not having your bag on the table-mine was fat and lying there obviously catching attention like a celebrity.

  And later I'll have my first Physics experiment. I wonder if I'll be allowed into the lab. I'm not properly dressed at all. Need more collared T's.

  Gosh, can you believe it? The day is just starting.

  I'm living on bread nowadays with nestum and milk as side dishes.

  What I learned here is you can't change everything. You have to learn other people's ways. You have to let go. letting go hurts but not letting go hurts worst.

Yeah People!

  I was suppose to be in some college doing something that will get me something near to Biology or Chemistry. Well, that's not happening, so I'm doing something with Physics even though I simply dislike it. Its been a week in UTeM and life's not so good. I miss family, toilets are so small, food not good, and I hate the fact that life is going to be full of Maths and Physics. I'm so sick in my heart I need to get a life. Sigh.